My Life as a Wannabe Super Mom

Wild March or Why Mommy Looks Like She Was Beaten

2011-03-16T23:41:00.000-05:00

March has virtually crawled by at the Mitchell house, especially for me. I have spent most of the month injured and attempting to heal. Some people have been asking about my progress and wanting to know what happened, so here's the story.

On March 3rd, I went to the hospital my mom works at to job shadow. I've been thinking about going back to school and have been considering nursing, so Mom volunteered to set up a day for me to follow a nurse on med/surg and then visit ER. When I got there, I met the nurse I was going to follow and went with him to a couple of patients' rooms. In the second room, I suddenly became dizzy. I remember thinking I was getting dizzy and thinking I should ask if I could sit down, and I remember looking to my right and seeing a chair. I apparently fainted, because the next thing I remember, I was laying on the floor bleeding, and my mom was asking if I was okay. She had thought there was a drill going on when the nurse yelled for help, so she was the first to respond. She didn't know it was me until she got in the room. They were concerned since I had hit my head, so the EMTs brought in a collar and backboard to transport me to the ER. Needless to say, this was not how I had planned to see the emergency room. I spent most of the day in ER and had a CT scan. They finally let my mom take me home, but since I was really bruised up and one eye was swollen shut, I didn't do much but rest on the couch. I also had a huge knot on my forehead where I had hit (concrete floors really hurt!), but they told me that was good and a sign that I shouldn't have any internal damage or swelling.

Lovely, huh? So I spent the next week at home waiting for the swelling to go down and my head to stop hurting. After a week and a half, my eye was better and some of the swelling on my head had gone down, but I still had a huge knot on my forehead. My mom had the doctor she works with look at it, and he advised that it be drained to avoid infection since the blood had begun clotting and could cause a lot of problems.

Still pretty, right? On Monday, the 14th, I went back to the same hospital I fainted at and had surgery to drain the knot. Everyone at the hospital was great, and even though I was very paranoid about being sedated for the procedure, I came out unscathed. I don't remember much. I know I didn't finish watching "The Price Is Right" before the drugs started kicking in. I vaguely remember them taking me to the operating room, and I think someone told me when they were done, but I may be making that up. Now I have no knot on my forehead, but they did put a drain in right below my eyebrow to allow any fluid that is left to drain out. It looks a little weird, but I don't have a picture of it yet. Maybe later.

2172 down, 47828 to go.

2010-02-03T20:14:00.000-06:00

So I just finished The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and I loved it! Finally, a book I could get excited about reading. My only regret is that I finished it in one day and have to move on. The story is about a writer with writer's block who begins corresponding with a man on the island of Guernsey who happened to find her name and address in a book she once owned. Through their correspondence, she discovers the background of his "literary society", finds a number of new friends, breaks through her writer's block, and learns about World War II from the Channel Island perspective. The story was cute, funny, poignant and moving. Overall, definitely one I would recommend if you haven't read it yet.

Now I'm moving on to Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi. This is a book that has intrigued me for quite a while, so we'll see what I think after...

1932 down, 48068 to go

2010-02-02T20:27:00.000-06:00

Since the last time I posted about my reading progress, I've finished two books, gained a bit on my goal, and have almost hit 2000 pages read.

The first (and by far the better) was The Iron Lance by Stephen Lawhead. It is part of his Celtic Crusades series. I had read another series by Lawhead, The Song of Albion, during high school and loved it, so I thought I would try out some of his others. While it is definitely not a quick read since it is thick with vaguely royal characters with very interchangeable titles, it was a interesting look at the Crusades. While I knew that the Crusades were overall very bloody, I had no idea the magnitude of the carnage involved. Even though I don't feel motivated to dive right into the next book in the series, Lawhead will probably be an author I revisit later in the year.

The other book I tackled was Michelangelo's Notebook by Paul Christopher. The teaser on the back of the book calls it a "breathtaking thriller," so I was motivated. After finishing the book, however, I think it can be relegated to the pile of DaVinci Code wannabes. While the premise seems interesting (young art historian stumbles across smuggled art and delves into a world of danger and intrigue), the entire plot seems very shallow and pointless. The author makes half-hearted connections between events, kills people who barely seem relevant, and leaves you with quite a let down in the end. One of the historical angles that could have been very interesting if developed (Pope Pius XII's illegitimate child) is, for the most part, ignored and simply inserted as a reason to kill off a few more characters. Overall I can't find this book worth the time and effort it took to read it.

Next on my list is The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer. So far I've read the first letter and already been giggling, so hopefully things are looking up.

Spin Cycle: Pet Peeves

2010-02-01T22:00:00.000-06:00

So this is my first week on the Spin Cycle, and the topic is Pet Peeves. I'm not sure there is enough space in this blog for all of my pet peeves, so I think we'll go with a top three and leave it at that.

1. As an English teacher, my main pet peeve has to be bad grammar and spelling. I'm not sure if it is the fault of modern technology or just plain laziness, but it seems so ridiculously common to not care about proofreading. Honestly, how much longer does it take to write "people" instead of "ppl"? For those of you I may occasionally text or email, I apologize if I seem a bit overly proper or wordy, but I believe in actually using language.

2. Silly as it seems, I am also annoyed by people who don't smile. Some people seem to go through life on autopilot. You know the type: head down, always in a rush, always with a frown. I happen to have a fairly adorable daughter who loves to make people smile. When she meets one of these automatons, she behaves in her usual precious manner. She is, however, very upset when she doesn't get a reaction from those people. All she really wants is to make you smile, so do me a favor and at least crack a grin!

3. My final pet peeve is constant cell phone usage. From the person in front of me in line at the store who won't hang up and acts like the cashier is being rude by doing her job to the couple at the next table on my night out who talk loudly, not to each other, but into their phones, the excessive use of cell phones runs rampant. I don't understand when other people became so important and why their meaningless drivel can't wait until after shopping, dinner or driving their kids home from school, but I really wish they didn't have to disrupt my day with it.

I could go on and mention a lot of other things that get under my skin, but I'll leave it at that.

1075 down, 48925 to go

2010-01-24T21:33:00.000-06:00

I finished The Madonnas of Leningrad by Debra Dean, and I have to say, I could have done without it. The story is about an elderly woman with Alzheimer's who has flashbacks to her life in WWII Russia. While I like the concept of the story, I don't feel like it was used well. If I were in this situation and my mother, grandmother, whoever, started talking about living in a cellar and eating glue, I would have asked questions. Instead, the entire family seems very detached, and no one really wants to talk about anything, let alone what is going on with the mom. Mom never volunteers much information about her past, and even when she claims that her son is the son of Zeus, we get no explanation for this claim. Overall, I was disappointed and let down by the premise of the book.

Next up is Stephen Lawhead's The Iron Lance, the first book in his Celtic Crusades series. We'll see if he can make me want to read the others...

847 down, 49153 to go

2010-01-21T10:55:00.000-06:00

I finished Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult today, and I have to admit I am once again perplexed by where she chooses to end the story. The story itself is about a man who was on death row for murdering a cop and his stepdaughter. While he is on death row, he finds out that the wife and mother of the deceased has another daughter who needs a heart transplant. His heart is, of course, a perfect fit. Picoult tends to add supernatural events to her stories, but many are without reason or explanation. Sure, I get all the Christ references, but some, like during his execution trial, seemed pointless. The more I read Picoult, the more predictable I feel her stories become. Even the death row inmate's "big revelation" was expected long before it happened.

Anyway, moving on. Next up is The Madonnas of Leningrad by Debra Dean. It is the first novel by this author, so I don't really have anything to compare it to. It is about an elderly Russian woman who worked at the Hermitage (an art museum in Leningrad) during the German invasion on 1941. Now as she is losing her memory, she has flashbacks to the war in Russia. I'll let you know what I think!

The Reading List

2010-01-18T16:05:00.000-06:00

Today I set a goal for myself for 2010: to read 50,000 pages by the end of the year. Why? Because reading is one of the few things I am truly brilliant at. It makes me feel like myself and makes me feel like I have some vague control over my world for a few precious minutes. If I could find a career that involved reading good books all day long I would do it in a heartbeat. (Come to think of it, they wouldn't even have to all be good ones. I've read some real doozies in my time...) I am going to blog in order to hold myself accountable for what I am reading.

Today I finished Mercy by Jodi Picoult (400 down, 49600 to go). It was good, but not her best. I hate the books where she just drops off at the end. Yes, I know its supposed to leave you hanging so you can create your own opinion, but sometimes she leaves too many big questions in the air. Mercy is about a man who kills his terminally ill wife at her request. It definitely brings up questions about the right to die and the value of life. It is also about another couple who deal with the consequences of an affair. I wasn't happy with the way she dealt with the affair issue because she almost made it okay for the wife to seek revenge. I'm not sure what she should have done with it, but in a book with the recurring theme of keeping promises, allowing dark secrets to stay that way seemed a bit off.

Next up is Picoult's Change of Heart. We'll see if that one goes better...

The Triumphant Return... or... Why I Haven't Blogged in a Month and a Half

2010-01-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

So it has gotten to the point that even my husband is asking if I gave up blogging. No, that wasn't my New Year's resolution. That happens to be to take down the Christmas tree sometime before Easter. Instead, I have no excuse but to say Christmas did it. Between trying to find presents, biting my nails over getting them here on time, and trying to make it to all of our celebrations, blogging just hadn't made the schedule. Since I am vegging on the couch listening to Joie play dinosaurs (Do you know what a deinonychusis? My three year old does...), Here is a recap of all the loveliness happening with us since we left off.

---Just before Christmas, my Nana started having heart problems. She ended up having surgery and finally got home from the hospital on Christmas Day. Because of her surgery and recovery, our Christmas schedule was rearranged and actually made for a much more relaxing and enjoyable holiday. Granted, we still celebrated eight times, but it was spread over four days and we never had more than three in one day. I could get used to that!

---For Christmas, Joie had requested a bigger doll house, a Lennie (from WonderPets), and a tutu. She received all three things, but not until the day after Christmas, which meant that all Christmas day I had to keep reminding her that Santa visited other houses like Grammy and Mimi's houses too.

---As a family present from my parents, we got a Wii and Wii Fit. Ryan is good at bowling and tennis, but I almost always beat him at golf. I don't really know why, since I usually just hit the ball randomly, but I tend to win. Joie likes bowling and playing soccer on the Wii Fit.

---Speaking of the Wii, it was the featured attraction of our New Year's celebration. On New Year's Eve, Grammy and PopPop came over to play. Ryan has video of Grammy hula hooping. Seriously. Ask him. He'll send it to you. We also took the Wii Fit with us to Mamaw and Papaw's house for their after New Year's party. Mamaw hula hooping? Priceless.

---Over the course of the past month, I've sent out some resumes and been rewarded with one interview. Hopefully I'll hear more in the near future, but just in case, I also tested for a census job. If I come knocking on your door, please be gentle...

Now as I sit here listening to Joie's new request to bake cookies, I think maybe we should leave the tree up a little longer. Tonight its supposed to start snowing, so we could use some holiday cheer :)

Six Dining Rooms and a Raincheck

2009-11-25T11:01:00.000-06:00

Apparently my entire life I have had the wrong idea of what a rain-check was. I thought a rain-check meant that you could go back and get an item for a sale price after the sale since they were not available. K-Mart, however, has a very different idea. For K-Mart, apparently a rain-check means calling me repeatedly to tell me the item is now available and then trying to give me the wrong item.

My experience: A few weeks ago, the doll furniture for the doll house my mom is getting Jo was buy one, get one free at K-Mart. When I went to buy the pieces during the sale, they only had the dining room set on the shelf. I explained to the man at the service desk that I would like a rain-check since only one set was available and Jo didn't really need two dining room sets. He gave me a handwritten rain-check on receipt paper (not even a form). A few days later, a woman called to confirm my rain-check though, so I wasn't too worried. Fast forward to yesterday, when a woman called me and left a message that my rain-check was in and was being held for me. I thought this was a bit odd since they couldn't possibly know the pieces I wanted, but I went to K-Mart to see what they had. When I got there, I gave them the hand-written rain-check and was told they would call back to see where it was. After a few minutes, I was told they couldn't find it. After repeating this procedure a couple of times, a new manager came on duty and said he would go back and look himself. A few minutes later, a woman came up and presented me with a box of Lincoln Logs. Now I have nothing against Lincoln Logs, but I don't think they would have done Jo much good in her doll house. I explained that I didn't have a rain-check for the Lincoln Logs, to which she responded "But it has your phone number on it." (It did, but I don't know why.) Just in case, I called Ryan and asked if he had ordered them. Since he didn't, I again explained that I didn't have a rain-check for them, I had a rain-check for the doll furniture. They said there must have been a mistake and said they would call when the doll furniture came in.

I assume this was the end of the story, except for the little kid who won't get Lincoln Logs because some one put down the wrong phone number, until today. Today I had another message about the rain-check, so I thought I'd call and see what they had before I made the trip to K-Mart. Once again, she wanted to give me the Lincoln Logs, so, once again, I explained that I didn't want Lincoln Logs, I wanted doll furniture. She confirmed that I did have a rain-check for the furniture and said she would delete the rain-check for the Lincoln Logs. End of story, right? No. About ten minutes later, she called again to tell me that they had some furniture on the shelf. I asked what it was, and she said it was just the dining room furniture. I said I would rather wait until they had more sets in, so I could use the buy one, get one free on the rain-check. After much silence, but apparently not much thought, she asked if I would like her to hold six of the dining room sets for me so I could pick them up later. After a stunned silence by me, she asked again "Well? Would you?" I responded that my daughter's dolls didn't eat enough for six dining room tables, especially since they wouldn't have a kitchen to cook them in. Her response? "I was just trying to help."

So, here I am with a rain-check that may never get used and a paranoia of going to K-Mart for fear of Lincoln Log wielding associates. I hope the rest of you have better luck with your Christmas shopping!

Frog and Toad

2009-11-21T21:30:00.000-06:00

Today marked the occasion of the first Mitchell Girls' Day Out. Grammy, Aunt Chelle, Joie and I traveled to Sullivan to shop and go to the Little Theater's production of Frog and Toad. The show was a children's performance. It was very cute, and the costumes were very silly and creative. The snails' shells were rolled up sleeping bags, and the turtles' shells were green laundry baskets. Joie really enjoyed the show and spent a lot of the afternoon singing "South for the Winter" and "Toad Looks Funny in a Bathing Suit". I think she's definitely turning into a little theater bug. She's already decided that we are going back to watch Beauty and the Beast in April!

Family Read Night or He Scared the @#$% Out of Her

2009-11-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

Tonight we went to Family Read Night at the library. Joie has been looking forward to it all week because they were doing an Alice in Wonderland theme. When we got there we decided to go to the "Nitro Joe" science show. He was very good, explaining to the kids that what he did might look like magic but it was all science. His first experiment was all about chemical reactions when things were burned like paper and flash (the stuff a magician uses for the poof). Then he pulled out some dry ice and made a quarter sing by sticking its edge in the ice. The last experiment also involved the ice. After showing the kids what happened when dry ice was put in water, he put it in a beaker with baby shampoo. The result? Bubbles full of carbon dioxide gas. He collected some of the bubbles in his hand, walked to Jo, and, with a "Bam!" plopped them on her head. This caused Jo to scream, jump, and pee down my leg. In case you aren't an experienced mom, I'll tell you. Almost all moms carry extra clothes for their children. They do not, however, carry extra pants for themselves. So, I changed Jo and we went back in, damp leg and all. Fortunately it wasn't too bad.

During the course of the night, we also talked to Alice and the white rabbit, watched a magic show, played croquet with hedgehogs and flamingos, made "zelsinscorn" (pretzels, raisins and popcorn), and made Humpty Dumpty. Aside from the minor accident, we had a good night.

Wednesday we went to Carbondale to see baby Carder. While he is still being treated for jaundice, he is doing much better and is growing fast. This was Jo's first time to actually hold and play with him, so she had a good time. She has always talked about feeding him and helping change his diapers. While we were there, she did just that. We thought we would give Aunt B a break and sent her to take a shower while we fed and changed him. She definitely loves him.

Ummmmmmmm etc.

2009-11-17T22:19:00.000-06:00

Haven't had a chance to post much lately. Carder was born on Nov 12th and has been in NICU due to jaundice. We finally made it down to see him on Sunday after fighting with colds and coughs for a week or so. Since he was in NICU, Joie wasn't able to see him except through the window, but I got to go in and hold him for a while. Joie thinks he is very cute and can't wait to hold him, although she still thinks he should be able to walk and talk already. They finally got to go home on Monday, so I think we will try to visit him again this week if I don't have to work one day.

On Friday, Aunt Chelle pick Joie up from the sitter. Since she didn't know what jacket was Jo's, she just trusted her to get the right one. Naturally, she got the wrong jacket. When I asked her about it, she said she liked the other one better. Today we returned the jacket, and she insisted on wearing her jacket the rest of the evening.

How Joanna Became an Omnivore

2009-11-09T14:30:00.000-06:00

Today we met Patty, Charlotte and Tommy at the library for a playdate, which was awesome. Joie and Charlotte got along splendidly, Tommy is adorable even though he's teething (poor baby!), and the mommies got to talk about grown up things, even, gasp!, books! We definitely need to play again soon.

After they left, we decided to pick out a few books, and Joie wanted a dinosaur book. You see, her current favorite toon in Dinosaur Train on PBS, so she's gotten very attached to learning about them. After picking out a book about Tyrannosaurus and other meat-eaters (which she informed me are carnivores), we left for the grocery store to pick up lunch meat for daddy. For us, that is never a short trip; you see, Joie already has one of the guys who works at the deli counter trained, so if he sees us coming, he has a piece of yellow circle cheese (Colby for those keeping track) ready for her. Today, however, he was not there and Joie was very disappointed that there was no cheese waiting for her. She asked the lady at the counter for a piece of cheese, and the lady asked me if she liked cheese. Those of you who have been around Joanna know that you don't get to talk around her and pretend like she isn't there. Deli counter lady obviously was unaware of this and was promptly put on notice by Joie. The conversation basically amounted to Joie: "Excuse me, I like cheese. You see, I'm an omnivore, and omnivores eat lots of different things like fruit, vegetables, meat, doughnut holes and cheese. Carnivores just eat meat, and herbivores just eat plants, but I eat everything. Can I please have my yellow circle cheese?" Deli counter lady (who has obviously never had a three year old explain life to her): "Um, of course, dear. (To me) My, does she understand what she's talking about? She uses awfully big words." Now, I realize that I take for granted the fact that Joie has pretty much always talked like a grown up, but this cracked me up. I'm going to guess that next time she just gives Joie the cheese.

Accomplishing.... Nothing

2009-11-08T19:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, we went to Carbondale to help Beth and Chet get things ready for Carder's big arrival. The boys put up the crib and arranged the room, taking every possible opportunity to use power tools whether they were necessary or not. Mimi cleaned, I folded laundry and put the bedding on the crib, and Joie entertained and supervised everyone. When the boys were putting up the crib, she informed us that she needed to go look at the crib to make sure it didn't fall over. Apparently she has less confidence in the boys' construction skills than the rest of us. It was a long day, but I think we've gotten things to a point that a baby can live there.

Today, Ryan went to Greenville to an auction, so Joie and I were on our own. She decided to sleep in to all of 7:10 this morning, but actually got out of bed on her own and came to wake me up. We didn't really accomplish much, a few loads of laundry and dishes, but not much else. We went to Wal-Mart to check out the Halloween leftovers, and ended up buying Lana's little brother a Spiderman costume. Lana is one of my brother Gregory's friends and is from Russia. She is planning to go home for a while over Christmas and wanted to take her brother a Spiderman costume from here. Nothing like $5 clearance aisle Christmas presents!

Tomorrow Joie and I are going to the library in the morning so she can meet Charlotte. Hopefully they'll get along well and we can have a regular playdate (fingers crossed!).

Lack of Brain Function

2009-11-06T22:11:00.000-06:00

Today wasn't exactly exciting. I subbed for a resource teacher, which basically means I fluttered around the school and never dealt with the same kids for very long. The day started with 3rd and 5th graders for reading, which is odd because they are doing the same thing. Then it was on to 5th grade math while simultaneously reading a grammar test for a 2nd grader. After lunch, I helped with a 1st grade math test, taught kindergarten math, had a junior high study hall where I was told off by a grouchy 8th grader, and gave state and capital tests to a group of 7th graders. All in all, the day wasn't bad, but I ended up with a huge headache and was thrilled to go get Joie after school.

Speaking of Joie, she is very excited about going to help with Carder's room tomorrow. She is, however, still convinced that he is really coming to live with us and has repeatedly asked me when her daddy is going to put up the crib for baby Carder. Listening to her make plans for Carder is quite entertaining. On the ride home, she told me that she was going to rock him in her rocking chair and make him take a nap. She then gave me an example of the snoring noises he would make which sounded oddly like a small pig.

She seems to be feeling better today, but has quite the runny nose. Last night we had to get out the nebulizer and give her a treatment, which she hated and cried through. Lucky daddy was still at his meeting, so mommy had to do it by herself. Tonight she told me she didn't need a treatment because she was just having trouble breathing. Apparently to her, if she isn't coughing, I should be content. I do sleep a little easier though.

Tomorrow, we're going to Carbondale with Mimi to see Uncle Chet and Aunt B and help finish up Carder's room. Uncle Chet, I hear, is very excited that daddy is bringing power tools along. They are in charge of putting up the crib and installing some shelves. Joie is in charge of painting Aunt B's toenails again and making sure they watch lots of movies. I'm not sure what Mimi and I are doing, but somehow I'm sure it will end up involving laundry...

Joie's First Show

2009-11-05T22:17:00.001-06:00

The first thing Joie asked me when she got up this morning was "Is it Charlotte's Web day?" She was very ready to go to the play tonight, and she definitely had fun while we were there. The kids did a great job and were more than happy to have their pictures taken with Joie after the show. More than one person commented about hearing her laughing during the performance. Before she went to bed, she told me that next time she wants to be a spider. Charlotte and Fern were perfect, and Joie thought Wilbur was hilarious. Templeton was her favorite, especially when he ate too much and passed out. She loved getting her pictures taken with everyone and really wanted to know how Charlotte could fly. I'm so glad this was her first show. It was the perfect length and really held her attention. I can't wait to take her to another one!

Creativity Is Not My Strong Point

2009-11-05T10:53:00.001-06:00

So, today I'm not working so Joie and I decided it would be a great day to be creative. Since we've already made cookies this week, we decided we would try the crafty avenue instead of mom's preferred epicurean path. Our brilliant plan for the day was to make fall tree cards to send to a few relatives. Mommy made a stencil out of construction paper and we used cosmetic sponges and finger paints. This was definitely a spur of the moment adventure. She ended up painting five trees and her forehead before we were finished. I have to admit they don't look too bad, but I don't think she's going to be the next Monet either. What can I say? She takes after her mother.

Tonight Ryan has a meeting, so Joie and I have a date to see Charlotte's Web at the high school. It will be her first play, and she is completely excited about it. She's been to a few puppet shows and things of that sort, but nothing quite to this extreme.

Until then, we're just going to finish our trees and maybe go outside. Later!

Starting Out

2009-11-05T10:24:00.002-06:00

I don't remember being a mom as something I thought about when I was growing up. I thought about colleges, careers, destinations and dreams, but I don't ever remember children being in those pictures. Now, however, my daughter is three (and a half, she reminds me), and I can't remember life without her. After eight years of teaching and having lost my job, I finally have the fortune/opportunity/dumb luck to get to stay home with her while subbing and job hunting. She is my inspiration in writing this log because some day I hope she'll want to know what was going on in her life way back, well, now. I could bore you with details about how beautiful, smart and vibrant she is, but you'll just have to keep up and learn for yourself.